I’m back, after a super long absence and it feels good. I’ve been busy, mainly with spending time with H before he heads out for training. I’ve been so preoccupied with that; blogging has taken a far backburner for me right now. But, I always make sure to read about the rest of you out there, and comment when I can.
I wish I could write something eloquent right now, like so many of you that I look up to. To write my thoughts down and not only write them but fill them with emotion. I think, right now, I am supressing it, holding it back until the dam gives way and emotion is all I feel. But for now, I will be content. And I will make the most of the time I have with H. It has been blissful actually, the past month we have been spending together. We have been so aware of the time ticking away…fights, although still a reality, become so insignificant. Time spent with friends and family, has lessened to make more time for just the two of us. We sleep in on weekends, exercise, go on dates. Its relaxed but urgent.
I feel selfish during all this; knowing that the time we will be apart is so insignificant in comparison to those who sacrifice for us in war. Friends of mine whose husbands are thousands of miles away, in a foreign and dangerous country, away for at least a year. And us, apart for months. When I talk about it to others I stay perky and say “yeah, it’ll be fine, the time will fly by really.” But deep down I fear that it won’t fly by. The bed will be empty; sleep will not come easily. Nights out with friends, while fun, will be missing something: him.
And so, internets…you get to hear my inner musings. The poor me rant that I feel like I can’t tell anyone else. The part where I gush about how much I’m going to miss my other half as cheesy as it sounds. I am not a needy, codependent girl by any means (although I too constantly deal with the Crazy). These feelings come from a relationship in which two people love each other, respect each other and in which we truly are best friends.
And being away from my best friend is going to suck. Period.
La Said:
on March 25, 2008 at 12:38 pm
Welcome back! And I’m sorry you have to be away from your other half – it might not be easy, but you have us to occupy your time!
cdp Said:
on March 25, 2008 at 6:09 pm
Aww. This does suck. I completely understand wanting to spend so much time together – but I am definitely glad you’re back!
My BFF is moving away in June. She and I have never been apart for the last twenty years. We even went to college together. She’s only going to be a few hours away, but this is a major change in our lives, and I have been very sad and spending a LOT of time with her. So I totally get it.
Wonderful to hear from you, lady. xoxo